My own Christmas wish list

Chris Jones has inspired me with his Christmas wish list for Chicago theater, so I'm going to steal his idea. Here's a tiny piece of my own wish list for Santa. along with some non-theatre-related wishes:

1. Dear Santa, make TimeLine produce Inherit the Wind and give them the money to let them cast two really awesome old Chicago actors in the leads.
   
2. Change the way the Pulitzer Prize for Drama is voted on, or just stop the whole thing.
   
3. Mega Millions. You heard me.
4. Make the House Theatre do a honest-to-Gosh full book musical.
5. Make every Chicago theatre company work with each other to make sure they don't share opening nights. Critics want to see your shows. They really do.
6. Make it so that less than 75% of Time Out Chicago cover stories are all about lists of things. "Top 10 Restaurants in Chicago That Start with the Letter V!"
   
7. Save the Reader.
8. Make it so that theatre in Edgewater not change their name to such a terrible name.
9. Make Don Hall produce "The Day the Clown Cried."
10. Move the Oriental Theatre to an alternate pocket universe where devotees can travel to see Wicked so I don't have to look at that freaking marquee every day.
11. Make people believe that elaborate cover-band concerts are not musicals. Otherwise, Beatlemania should just add some patches of dialogue to their shows and charge a hundred bucks.
12. Arrange for several politicians to get flesh-eating diseases. You know which ones.
    
13. A nice food processor.
14. The "Ford at Fox" DVD boxed set.
15. A couple of nice sweaters.
16. An end to all wars.
    
17. Stop Rob Schneider.
18. Stop Nick Counter.
19. And then stop Nick Counter again.

Not too much to ask, is it?